i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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