I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize