he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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