HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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