i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
