Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
