when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize