i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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