Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
