i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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