hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
