I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
how drunk are you?
Several
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
