shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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