There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
