Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
