Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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