some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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