You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
