I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
