i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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