My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
