She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
