do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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