About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
