Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
