In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
