hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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