dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
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shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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