oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
