Sponge bath it is.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
