I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
