i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
