just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
