mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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