too bad you live with your parents still
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Alive.
So much puke
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
