glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
