my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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