I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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