you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think I am morally bankrupt
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
