So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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