I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How does one acquire holy water?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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