I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
