With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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