guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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