My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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