At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
