I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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