Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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