She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My feet surprised me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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