is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
