how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
