Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
