mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize