Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize