Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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