a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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