I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
