So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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