It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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