Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
