so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
