Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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