yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You need a sexual gate keeper
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize