ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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