last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
